Here's the struggle. Clearly, I love food, love wine. LOVE them. (And I don't much care that the Pope recently revealed his theory that the word love is overused and has therefore lost its meaning; then again, I'm not Catholic or anything close to it, so I wouldn't tend to care what the Pope has to say on much of anything, ha.) Oooh, snarky Pope comment to start off the day, I must be in a bad mood? Nah, I actually have a point, that was just a little aside (if you haven't noticed, I have LOTS of asides; I am defined by the parenthetical). So, the struggle. To balance the blessings of all these wonderful sensory experiences (and I know they are blessings, that's the first step to take when faced with abundance - be grateful. Duh.) with the need to reign..it..in! Whoa, Stephanie, you can't have it all, all at the same time. Damn. I've also learned, at least for me, but I suspect for others too, that total deprivation is no way to live. It's a beautiful world, full of beautiful things to eat and drink, I just become powerfully sad when I've pushed it all aside in the name of being incredibly thin. So, somewhere in the middle...hmmm...moderation...hmmm... That's the goal. The struggle. In all things in my life, and lots of others' lives too, I know. I'm thinking alot lately about the concept of mindful eating, of being very aware and present while eating. Slow down (I rush through everything), focus on what is in front of me, savor. So simple. But difficult. I literally sat down at breakfast today, with a lovely blueberry pancake and a steaming cup of coffee, and intended to slow myself down and really enjoy it. Bite by bite. And then I fucking FORGOT until I was half done! Unbelievable. At least I tuned back in before I was done, and I did get a huge laugh out of my impulsiveness. I love (!) Mireille Guiliano's book French Women Don't Get Fat. She's got it nailed, I think. Eat for pleasure, focus, savor, eat slowly and stop before you're full, always choose quality over quantity. From the book cover, "Emphasizing freshness, variety, balance, and always pleasure..." Move around as much as you can - take stairs, walk everywhere you can, take pleasure in being outdoors. So simple. But difficult. Cooking food for myself and my family, with fresh ingredients, OK, I've got that part covered. I just need to s..l..o..w down. Savor. And moderation will naturally follow...ha.

Tonight's dinner will be a moderation challenge, especially for John...CRAB CAKES. Woo hoo! Or, The Best Crab Cakes, which is either Andrew Zimmern's or Carol Mack's recipe, I'm not sure which. I got it from Andrew, but I think it's Carol's, I believe that's how it worked. Anyhow, they are fantastic (recipe posted in comments, below). I've found that it is very worth a trip to Coastal Seafoods for the lump crabmeat they sell - actually, in a can - for something like $25.00/lb. Quite expensive. But oh my, it makes them damn good. On - what else? - a simple arugula salad. Little corn saute on the side. Pour a nice cold white. Summer in February, that's what it is. We'll see how I do on the slow savor, it'll be my goal. I'll check back in later with photos, recipes, and a progress report. (And by the way, the crab cakes are excellent the next day. Cold, in a sandwich, ooh. Or reheated with another salad. All good.)

Had a lovely cup of tea with my friend Karen this afternoon. I even got a pretty blue sequin from her son Patrick, as a little gift, although I forgot it at their house (I'm sorry Patrick, it was only because I rushed getting out the door, gabbing as usual, to pick up Nathan). Hopefully, he can reclaim it and put it to good use. So CUTE!

Crab cakes = delish. Yep. Good move. Thursday nights John and I eat without the kids and there is no need to waste these (like I said, at $25.00/lb.; which, is a damn good deal, compared to eating out, think of it that way...) on those who do not truly love them. Nathan thinks they're "OK," A wouldn't touch them with a 10-foot pole. John and I ate heartily - and, by the way, I did remember to slow down and enjoy the one crab cake that I ate. With the arugula, the corn/asparagus saute, and a crisp glass of Pascal Jolibet 2003 Pouille Fume. John just went out for ice cream - he had to have it, his weakness - but I have to say, I can pass on that. At least this time... Moderation, woo hoo! I am soooo smug in my moderation (for a day... This attempt at looking smug ended up looking rather dramatic, I'll have to work on my smugness).